Sunday, January 25, 2015

Making A List

As the day draws nearer, I get more agitated. It is not about the surgery itself. But, more if the recovery period.

I have been contacting and making appointments with people that I know to make arrangements for the past 2 weeks. My weekends are full of to-do things and also appointments. After some number of appointments , I have gathered more information which are of help to myself and I never thought about at the first place.

I have things like caregiving ( actively hunting ever since I got the date of surgery ), diet plan ( preparing a short list of questions to ask nutritionist within this week ), things to buy, restocking of toiletries for at least 3 months, handy contact numbers to obtain etc.

This is the first time I ever make such detailed thoughts for myself. Later part of the week, I shall need to revise my budget list and expecting some amendments to my current list. Things may change as I explore more work-around ways.

The physiotherapy sessions been a bit more aggressive for the past one month. It would be a total of 6 months of physiotherapy before I head for surgery. And it took me a lot of effort. There had been times I zombi-ed my way home after a tiring session. The therapists has been fabulous. They may be young. But, you cannot deny the fact of how uplifting each session can be even when you are in pain.

The doctor has been great too. I realized that he keeps tab of each of his patient's progress. Only thing he seems to forget is how time flies.

On Friday night ( January 23rd ) he was at the rehab centre to check on some of his patients. And he said something which I find amusing, " Wah! How come I see you here almost everyday?! "

I would if I could survive every of the session without tiredness to the muscles! But, then again, that does not serve the purpose. Muscles need to be triggered to function well and also need to rest to gain back its strength for the coming session.

It has been a solid 5 months with the rehab centre building my leg and knee muscles. And our effort paid off. My right leg is stronger. But, it is the most serious one between the two. Meanwhile, my left knee has its limit in terms of straightening and lifting. According to Maya, there are still nerves on my left knee. Which means the cartilage is much thicker on the left than at the right knee. The right knee lately been a little odd. It produced loud rubbing sound and without pain. It means more bone-to-bone rubbing going on in there than I thought.

My prayer is to have my knees back to normal. To have the cartilage repaired and the cells to able to multiply well and sufficient within this whole year after arthroscopy been done.






Saturday, January 24, 2015

Long Drive

It is a long drive. Maybe not long. But, many drives. The highway that I took never seems to fail my imagination. If only the other end of this highway lies answers to all my questions.

A friend told me that it was all within me. Things that happened in the past took hold of me. The disappointments in life makes me so cold. My heart is hardened. Trust has become an issue. Big time issue.

Bondage. That is what it is called. Bondage.

God... how can I end this?...

Monday, January 12, 2015

Living the Way

There is always something about how people would react when seeing someone as undescriable as me.

You see, though I am who I am, I still do raise question marks on people's forehead. I embrace the person I am and would not even bother to change for the sake of pleasing or capturing people's attention.

Some days ago, I got that one particular look. It is not annoying look but really... curious kind. I was captivated with the eyes of the beholder.

Now do not get me wrong here. It is not some sparks or whatever. As an artistic person I do take notice of people's appearance and physique. It is me just being me. And there were times that I piss people off because I stare too much.

So there I was walking pass the person. Tall and lanky. Distinctive voice where you cannot help but to take notice of this individual.

This weekend I will get to see if my request is fulfilled. And that means get to see the individual.