One last assessment by senior therapist, Mr Norbert Mohnen before I started work.
Apart from the inconveniences I encountered and still encountering though not similar, the constant fear that resurface, there is also this tough work of getting yourself to the rehab centre.
Having spoken with many patients that has injuries to spine, shoulder, wrist, calves, knees and ankle ( to-date, only these patients I met ), I realized most of them finds it hassle to come for physiotherapy sessions. Some finds it a waste of time even. Some finds it costly to pay for their sessions.
Often we hear people saying that health is important. True enough. As often as we hear people saying this, it is also often we see people neglecting their health. And I am no exception. To be frank, my condition was not good at all. Both knees had their own set of seriousness. Someday I shall share with you my condition. As of now, I prefer to focus on recovery and the journey of it.
As a person who went through this whole journey for about 9 months now, 6 months of pre operation physiotherapy and 3 months of post operation physiotherapy and even witnessing and talking to patients who went through similar surgery but without pre operation physiotherapy, I would say there is a huge difference. What I am about to say here touches the aspect of investing time for physiotherapy sessions. Money aspect aside though.
Taking my own condition, I think I would not have made it this far if it was not for pre operation physiotherapy. I remember very well the very first session I had with the centre. It was painful. My muscles were so stiff and it could hardly do IRQ (inner range quads).
This was shared during a wellness training I attended at work someday back. I choose to see the positive side of the journey taken by this ex-army and not some of the comments in this video.
As a patient which has limited movements to your knees, you will know how much it means to you to be able to walk and do things like any other normal people do. Things like bending down to pick up things from the floor, sitting yourself down slowly, standing up without needing the aid of a clutch or the table to push yourself up, doing light house chores like mopping the floor etc.
Things that some of us took for granted in life. I encountered countless inconveniences in my daily life. Not just now. But, for the past couple of years. I had and still have my fair share of frustration. Believe me. It is not an easy life I had or have.
Lets put this in a very straight forward manner. I could not squat since 4 years ago. I could not kneel about 3 years ago. I could not run about 2 years ago. And that all leads me to this surgery which I need to do in order to save my knees. And I am counting on my prayers, my tears to pull this through.
The awful feeling of getting frustrated with myself is always there. I prefer to do things on my own. Things like sweeping the floor, cleaning the toilet, doing my own laundry, ironing my clothes, things like these that I mentioned here. Joey said I am one of her independent patients. And now you know why I am who I am.
Another side of me is that I am kind of a perfectionist. I like things to be done in certain manner and way. Basically, I like it my way. I have this thing that says that if you cannot do such small things in life, what does this mean any more to you? You got to rely on other people to do it for you. Oh, how troublesome!
The thing is, there is so much that one can do. Especially when you have come to such state. I have to come to terms that I cannot do many things in life and that I need other people in my life. But, part of me I know well, like what granny said " You got to be independent. I can never be with you for the rest of your life. You have to know how to be one ".
While I am still struggling to perfect the movements of my knees, I keep a very clear thought in my head - if granny could do it, so am I! You see, my granny broke her right femur 5 years before she passed on battling colon cancer. She told me not to worry about her and told me to go to work. I did what she told me to do. To leave her at home on her own ( I could not afford a caretaker ) was the hardest thing to do.
A few weeks later she walked around the house and boiled hot water for herself to prepare some hot drinks. A few months later, she walked herself to the nearest Chinese restaurant for her meals. And that almost got my head spinning. She was a very independent woman. Very.
I would say that I am the most fortunate person to have someone as close as my late granny to inspire me to be independent. This is my core principle in life. A core that is hard to break as it was instilled in me since I was a kid.
If you get the essence of what I shared here, it means I have done my part in telling you what I need to tell you. You know who you are. And I hope it helps you.
There will be no hope if you stop believing you can do it. The struggles ahead of you now is nothing compares to the struggle in life that is ahead of you and there is so many years ahead of you, my friend. May not be sweet. But, believe me, it is a memorable one and it is worth every bit of your sweat to do this. Say your prayer and tell the Lord, our Abba, to help you.
This exercise aims to improve mobility of the knee, ankle and hip muscles. Seems like easy cheesy, eh? Not really. While one leg extended to the front, the furthest possible, the one behind has to bend to assist the extended leg to achieve full extension.
The challenge here is the one which is required to bend. With my current condition, locking my knees to a certain angle is not an easy task. But, this is the aim. And this is my next hurdle.
It is one of those moments I have where I miss her terribly. I wished I could tell how much I miss her. As in measuring your love for someone dear to your heart.
The past few weeks, the thoughts of her was lingering in my head. I could walk pass you with wet eyes and sometimes tears strolling down my cheeks. I tried taking of the last and tough memories I have of her. But, it seems those last memories I have are the most vivid ones.
I wonder if I ever lost more memories of her. Be it good or bad, I cherish them... The fear of losing the memory of her voice even scares me. Honestly, I do afraid of forgetting her voice.
Intensified physiotherapy session started on June 2nd, 2015 and it gets better. I was given 4 exercises today. On June 2nd, 2015, I was given 4 exercises too. And one of it was shown in the video above. And while it was recording, I was exactly 3 months after surgery.
The pain is still there. Muscles were screaming in pain and you have no idea how much effort it took for me to not to scream or even squeaked. Let me emphasized - A WHOLE LOT!
I brought up the idea to one of physiotherapist, Joey, that I would want to have my progress be recorded in a form of video. This is to keep track of my progress and also remind myself the type exercises that I can do at home or even in the office.
All these look simple to normal people. Trust me. When you are as bad as me, all these exercises seem like a challenge. The mentality I have each time my physiotherapist throws a new exercise for me is that I will want to perfect it. I want to be as normal as I can. And if possible, normal. Completely normal. As though I never did any surgery before.
In the video above, the exercise was given to me for the very first time and I had succeeded in executing it. To me, it was not perfect. If there was a machine that could screen me at that point, I can bet that my bones were doing the jiggy. And my muscles were struggling to transform into... Optimus Prime. Okay. I am exaggerating.
Point is, my knees have yet to obtain perfect control on this slowly-sitting-down move. Further elaboration of the exercise above :-
1. At standing position, part both legs to the side. The parting is measured based on the width of the shoulder.
2. Both foot has to face to the front.
3. Slowly bend the knees. Buttock to the back. For better balancing, place both hands to the front.
4. Keep lowering your buttock until it almost touches the seat.
5. Hold on to this position for 10 seconds. At this point, the glute and quads are tighten up. Same goes to the muscles around the calves and feet.
My physiotherapy session has been upgraded. Tonight I did 4 types of exercises. Before this, means between week 3 to week 12, I would have between 5 to 8 types of exercises to complete. Exercises given are specific depending on one's progress.
Each session of physiotherapy, I will be assessed by therapist who is assigned to treat me for the day. Some patients prefer to stick with one therapist. I, on the other hand, is alright to have any therapist who is assigned to me because each therapist has their own method in treating you. With this, you get to have different ' flavour '. Yes, I am making this sound like a recipe of some sort. But, you get my point.
Believe me, it could not get any better. As a matter of fact, it is better than I thought. In other words, challenging. Looks as though you were learning waltz steps here. According to my physiotherapist, I will get better in my second attempt and I believe that too. Somehow I need to figure out how to get this right.
Next up was stepping up and down the step board. Stepping forward-up is not too much of an issue for me at this point especially my right knee. But, it does hut for the left. Nevertheless, it is still manageable. At week 13, I have basically endured quite a bit of unexpected moves due to imbalances. Even though I have managed to walk as normal as I can, there are still some obvious weak knees control going on.
I will limp or relying to one side of the leg, depending on the strength of the knees. As both knees have different level of strength and capabilities at this point of time, I will have to make use of whatever I have and then slowly perfecting it. Perfecting it means having both knees to do the same moves and also having the same strength and capabilities like normal people do.
