This was shared during a wellness training I attended at work someday back. I choose to see the positive side of the journey taken by this ex-army and not some of the comments in this video.
As a patient which has limited movements to your knees, you will know how much it means to you to be able to walk and do things like any other normal people do. Things like bending down to pick up things from the floor, sitting yourself down slowly, standing up without needing the aid of a clutch or the table to push yourself up, doing light house chores like mopping the floor etc.
Things that some of us took for granted in life. I encountered countless inconveniences in my daily life. Not just now. But, for the past couple of years. I had and still have my fair share of frustration. Believe me. It is not an easy life I had or have.
Lets put this in a very straight forward manner. I could not squat since 4 years ago. I could not kneel about 3 years ago. I could not run about 2 years ago. And that all leads me to this surgery which I need to do in order to save my knees. And I am counting on my prayers, my tears to pull this through.
The awful feeling of getting frustrated with myself is always there. I prefer to do things on my own. Things like sweeping the floor, cleaning the toilet, doing my own laundry, ironing my clothes, things like these that I mentioned here. Joey said I am one of her independent patients. And now you know why I am who I am.
Another side of me is that I am kind of a perfectionist. I like things to be done in certain manner and way. Basically, I like it my way. I have this thing that says that if you cannot do such small things in life, what does this mean any more to you? You got to rely on other people to do it for you. Oh, how troublesome!
The thing is, there is so much that one can do. Especially when you have come to such state. I have to come to terms that I cannot do many things in life and that I need other people in my life. But, part of me I know well, like what granny said " You got to be independent. I can never be with you for the rest of your life. You have to know how to be one ".
While I am still struggling to perfect the movements of my knees, I keep a very clear thought in my head - if granny could do it, so am I! You see, my granny broke her right femur 5 years before she passed on battling colon cancer. She told me not to worry about her and told me to go to work. I did what she told me to do. To leave her at home on her own ( I could not afford a caretaker ) was the hardest thing to do.
A few weeks later she walked around the house and boiled hot water for herself to prepare some hot drinks. A few months later, she walked herself to the nearest Chinese restaurant for her meals. And that almost got my head spinning. She was a very independent woman. Very.
I would say that I am the most fortunate person to have someone as close as my late granny to inspire me to be independent. This is my core principle in life. A core that is hard to break as it was instilled in me since I was a kid.
If you get the essence of what I shared here, it means I have done my part in telling you what I need to tell you. You know who you are. And I hope it helps you.
There will be no hope if you stop believing you can do it. The struggles ahead of you now is nothing compares to the struggle in life that is ahead of you and there is so many years ahead of you, my friend. May not be sweet. But, believe me, it is a memorable one and it is worth every bit of your sweat to do this. Say your prayer and tell the Lord, our Abba, to help you.
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