Marriage and I

As I type this post, I am in the juncture of deciding my future. An issue which I rarely gave much thought about, depending on the subject.

As I get older and with my dear granny's absence, the subject that people around me always bring up about is marriage. I find this intimidating in a way.

I used to look around for cute looking boys ( that was like about 10 years ago ). I thought how sweet it would be to be in love, getting flowers and kisses. It was like a fairytale of some sort. That was how I perceived it. And yes, I did went out for some casual dates of which all of them lasted just one date.

Problem did not lie on the boys. Each of them was nice. Decent. And of course, in between, there were some jerks too ( of which I left breakfast or lunch or coffee session even before saying my goodbye ). And slowly that boils down to the fact that I do have my own ideal partner in mind ( at least that is what I thought at that moment ).

Now, 10 years later, I do not have the urge to even ask someone for a date. Basically, I no longer have the courage and yes, bother much about it. Funny how this turned out. Really it does.

Looks is no longer something I look into. As I grow older, what counts really the personality, attitude and also the person's life principle as well as beliefs. I could have revealed more. But, then again, should I?